Thursday, June 4, 2009

Praying to be a sponge not a rock!

Yesterday was one of those "mommy days" that I am not so proud of. You know the kind you wish you could just start all over and do EVERYTHING differently! It was also somewhat emotional for me as I dropped off my oldest for his first ever 3 day 4-h camp experience. My 'baby' gone to camp for THREE days! He is quite capable and will have a blast..... it is just a little harder on this Mama than I thought it would be.

Put together the Mama emotions and the other stresses of the day and by night I was spent. Ever been there? I was actually exhausted and extremely upset with myself. All day I had been mad.... mad at the kids, mad at me, mad at circumstances. Surprise, surprise I didn't sleep well last night. Every time I woke up I felt the anger start to rise again... YUCK! So I just started praying. I prayed for forgiveness, for my son's camp trip and for a soft heart. I want a heart like a sponge not a rock. By last night my heart was so hard that it just felt like a rock.... I don't want to live that way. I want to be able to soak up life rather than let it all run off of me. I don't want anger and stress turn my heart into a rock so that I can't feel simple joy and feel the warmth of a gentle breeze....... I want to be sensitive to the feelings of others, open to opportunities to serve others rather than self.

Today has been MUCH better!!!! I got the day started off right... in the WORD! God does hear our prayers and His word is life! His word is the same regardless of my *feelings*. I can stand on HIS promises, I get my strength from him. I have so much to do, but am not letting it get me stressed... I am going to ENJOY today..... I can't re-live yesterday, I am not guaranteed tomorrow, my life is TODAY!!!! Smile, hugs, kind words and loving discipline. I read EXTRA stories to the little ones at nap time and spent time in my flower beds.... life is good!



Samantha said...

Glad today is better, we all have those days and when I do, I just pray, pray, pray !
Blessings to you dear friend.

tammi said...

"I want to be able to soak up life rather than let it all run off of me." ~ AMEN.

I need to pray for increased spongey-ness, too.

{haha, you use your timer a lot, right? Like, for housekeeping chores and whatnot? My word verification spells OVENTIMA here today!!}