Monday, August 18, 2008
I am here, but not *here*!
The last few weeks I have really been feeling the Lord pulling at my heart...
You know the kind of pulling, the kind that you want to ignore!
Well, I am glad that God doesn't give up on us!
Sometimes God has to SHOUT at me!! Yesterday's message at church really confirmed what I have been hearing from God. I can't ignore Him, I really don't want to ignore Him! I really want my life to be HIS vessel!!! During the message yesterday our paster had us write down one of our major worries/stresses/things that consume our thoughts. I wrote down "Trying to be good enough. Trying to make things work." Then he made a BOLD statement: "This is the way that you try to create your own righteousness." OUCH!!! Self righteousness, self importance, being good enough.
For now I will not be blogging. Blogging feeds my approval addiction issues.... I need GOD to provide all of my needs.... not try to have the bloggy world meet some underlying need I have. GOD loves me. Period. I have "tried" to make things happen, and I can NEVER be in peace when I am my own god. I really want my life to be used by God.... HIS way, HIS timing, HIS plan. I need to GET out of the WAY!!! LOL!! I'm sure that you can relate at some level.
I have struggled with "being good enough" my whole life.... frankly I am SICK of it!! I am going to be spending a lot of time soaking up GOD! My internet is going to be used in a different way... I will be listening to GOD'S word... listening to wonderful teachings as I work around the house.
I have some favorite blogs that I will be checking in on.....I have met many wonderful "imaginary friends" (as valleygirl's husband calls bloggy friends) and do plan to stay in touch.
I don't know how long I will be "gone". If God gives me the green light I will be back blogging about what HE wants.
Please feel free to contact me via email.
Bottom line: I want to serve GOD, not myself, not some approval addiction!!!! There are WAY too many COOL people and blogs out there! If I judge myself based on how I "measure up" compared to other blogs then I will NEVER measure up!!
Have a BLESSED day, BE a BLESSING!